[she lets herself be held for a long time, until the tears stop falling down her cheeks as quickly. she's silent through this whole time, and then finally sits up straighter. she feels a bit of coldness from the part of her that was leaning on Caitlyn, but she takes a drink of the bottle she's working on as she looks down at the floor.]
She said she doesn't remember... [UGH.] dying for me.
[she spit it as if it physically pains her.]
But she says she probably did it because she thought I deserved to have a life without her. But who the hell is she to make that decision for me? To keep making that decision, and honestly thinking I'm better off without her in my life?
[Caitlyn holds herself back from correcting Vi. They've already been through it, so she knows Vi can't handle the hope that Jinx is still alive. Caitlyn is convinced she survived, and is determined to prove it, but this isn't a "who's right" moment. This is a support Vi moment, so that's what she does. She holds her, until she's sitting up again, and even then, she keeps her hand on Vi's back.]
We knew it was a possibility we wouldn't all remember the same things. Do you think-- [She pauses, frowning at the implications. If she had just lost Isha and Vander, then it certainly made sense, why Jinx would so easily push Vi away. She did the same thing, when Vi tried to break Jinx out of jail.]
I know. You're completely right. She shouldn't take your agency away from you. But remember, she's hurting too. If she doesn't remember the war, she's had a significantly less amount of time to process everything that happened. She might just need time.
[listen, until Vi sees her alive and well again... she doesn't dare hope. she's had so many people she loves taken away from her and brought back, to get taken away again. maybe, one day, she'll let herself hope that Caitlyn's right. maybe once they get more proof.]
Time... but what's going to happen in that time? What will happen here?
[she sounds a little frantic, and she takes one of the bottles and drinks a good portion of it before continuing.]
I shouldn't be surprised. I haven't had the ability to make most of the decisions on my own for a long time. The only ones I made was my decisions towards the end about Jinx, and...
[she looks back over at Cait, and a bit of a smirk crosses her face.]
I don't know, Vi, but-- things were good between you, before. I don't know why that can't happen again.
[It took a little time, then, too. And probably wasn't helped, but the animosity between Caitlyn and Jinx at the time too. But she was over hating Jinx, hating herself, and letting hate rule her life. She wanted Vi to be happy, and if that meant forgiving Jinx, so be it.]
Yes, I know.
[She fights back her own smirk as she shakes her head. At least Vi was distracting herself with the positives that came out of the situation.]
What would you like to do then? Do you want to go look for her?
[Vi finds herself melting a bit more into Caitlyn. not that she's tired, really, but she just really wants the strength and stability she can give right now.
she takes another long drink from one of her bottles, and sighs.]
I don't know. I was thinking maybe listening to her and giving her some distance... at least for a little while. But I told her it wouldn't be for forever.
[they both kind of had some things to work through, after all.]
[Caitlyn knows she would be devastated if Jayce tried to push her away, after she finally got him back. So yeah, she gets it.
Vi has suffered so much. Lost so much. Her life has been more pain than anything. Caitlyn just hopes Jinx doesn't draw this out too long, for Vi's sake. She thinks she might try to talk to Jinx. Maybe it'll blow up in her face, as their conversations typically did, but being less emotional than Vi might help. Maybe.
Sighs. She just wants something good for her girlfriend, for once. So she lets Vi melt into her once again, pulling her a little closer and resting her head against Vi's.]
But it's like you said, it's not forever. Who knows, maybe she'll even come to you.
[Vi rubs her eyes with the back of her hand, tears filling them for a completely different reason now. Caitlyn's closeness... her protectiveness was so reassuring. calming. she never really thought that she wanted or needed that sort of thing... until she'd met her. until she'd started protecting and taking care of her.]
What did I do to deserve you?
[she puts the bottle aside, instead finding one of Caitlyn's hands and entwining their fingers together.]
You shouldn't even be talking to me about her like this.
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no subject
She said she doesn't remember... [UGH.] dying for me.
[she spit it as if it physically pains her.]
But she says she probably did it because she thought I deserved to have a life without her. But who the hell is she to make that decision for me? To keep making that decision, and honestly thinking I'm better off without her in my life?
no subject
We knew it was a possibility we wouldn't all remember the same things. Do you think-- [She pauses, frowning at the implications. If she had just lost Isha and Vander, then it certainly made sense, why Jinx would so easily push Vi away. She did the same thing, when Vi tried to break Jinx out of jail.]
I know. You're completely right. She shouldn't take your agency away from you. But remember, she's hurting too. If she doesn't remember the war, she's had a significantly less amount of time to process everything that happened. She might just need time.
no subject
Time... but what's going to happen in that time? What will happen here?
[she sounds a little frantic, and she takes one of the bottles and drinks a good portion of it before continuing.]
I shouldn't be surprised. I haven't had the ability to make most of the decisions on my own for a long time. The only ones I made was my decisions towards the end about Jinx, and...
[she looks back over at Cait, and a bit of a smirk crosses her face.]
You know.
no subject
[It took a little time, then, too. And probably wasn't helped, but the animosity between Caitlyn and Jinx at the time too. But she was over hating Jinx, hating herself, and letting hate rule her life. She wanted Vi to be happy, and if that meant forgiving Jinx, so be it.]
Yes, I know.
[She fights back her own smirk as she shakes her head. At least Vi was distracting herself with the positives that came out of the situation.]
What would you like to do then? Do you want to go look for her?
no subject
she takes another long drink from one of her bottles, and sighs.]
I don't know. I was thinking maybe listening to her and giving her some distance... at least for a little while. But I told her it wouldn't be for forever.
[they both kind of had some things to work through, after all.]
But it still hurts.
no subject
[Caitlyn knows she would be devastated if Jayce tried to push her away, after she finally got him back. So yeah, she gets it.
Vi has suffered so much. Lost so much. Her life has been more pain than anything. Caitlyn just hopes Jinx doesn't draw this out too long, for Vi's sake. She thinks she might try to talk to Jinx. Maybe it'll blow up in her face, as their conversations typically did, but being less emotional than Vi might help. Maybe.
Sighs. She just wants something good for her girlfriend, for once. So she lets Vi melt into her once again, pulling her a little closer and resting her head against Vi's.]
But it's like you said, it's not forever. Who knows, maybe she'll even come to you.
no subject
What did I do to deserve you?
[she puts the bottle aside, instead finding one of Caitlyn's hands and entwining their fingers together.]
You shouldn't even be talking to me about her like this.
[for. obvious reasons.]