maybe not. but i fought one of those shimmer monsters myself before hextech even became a real thing.
[... at the mention of Vander, she pauses. she doesn't want to answer, makes her kind of nauseated at the idea of it. but Viktor is one of them, so he deserves to know.
it takes her a while to send it, mostly because she has to figure out how to word it. there's so much grief and guilt from that situation still...]
he got caught in Silco's web. we couldn't get him out of it before... an accident happened.
he died saving my life.
[even now, she's protecting her sister... and maybe a little bit of Viktor, too. those strange gems had been the early prototypes for the hexgems, right? she hadn't known it when she'd seen the new one at home, but she'd been able to piece it together since.]
[ well, this puts a few things in perspective, for him. ]
It is not an easy legacy to carry. [ someone giving their life for you... and for that to be the hound of the underground, too. there is some quiet understanding in the words, there, but no pity, no condolences — once more, they won't help. those from the undercity have all lost so many people, and no manner of apologies or sympathies will bring them back. ]
[she's not really sure why she's asking Viktor this, someone she just met recently. maybe it's because he's a sympathetic but blunt mind, like hers. or simply because coming from the same place has already made her put a lot of trust in him that wouldn't necessarily be there if he was from Piltover.]
[ sometimes, it's easier to talk about difficult things with those who are more removed from the matter — who you're not so close to. he understands. ]
I believe everything worth doing comes with pain. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Do you stop simply because it all hurts too much to go on?
That, I would say, is what strength really is. When you keep going, no matter what. When you... don't step off the ledge, no matter how much easier it would be to fall.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[... at the mention of Vander, she pauses. she doesn't want to answer, makes her kind of nauseated at the idea of it. but Viktor is one of them, so he deserves to know.
it takes her a while to send it, mostly because she has to figure out how to word it. there's so much grief and guilt from that situation still...]
he got caught in Silco's web. we couldn't get him out of it before... an accident happened.
he died saving my life.
[even now, she's protecting her sister... and maybe a little bit of Viktor, too. those strange gems had been the early prototypes for the hexgems, right? she hadn't known it when she'd seen the new one at home, but she'd been able to piece it together since.]
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[ well, this puts a few things in perspective, for him. ]
It is not an easy legacy to carry. [ someone giving their life for you... and for that to be the hound of the underground, too. there is some quiet understanding in the words, there, but no pity, no condolences — once more, they won't help. those from the undercity have all lost so many people, and no manner of apologies or sympathies will bring them back. ]
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[yeah, everything is So Much all the time.]
no shit. i'll never live up to that legacy. but... protecting the people i love is a start in the right direction.
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[ if they're speaking of a legacy — he suspects his own will be... barely there, soon forgotten. he is still trying to make his peace with that. ]
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what if it hurts too much to carry sometimes?
[she's not really sure why she's asking Viktor this, someone she just met recently. maybe it's because he's a sympathetic but blunt mind, like hers. or simply because coming from the same place has already made her put a lot of trust in him that wouldn't necessarily be there if he was from Piltover.]
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I believe everything worth doing comes with pain. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Do you stop simply because it all hurts too much to go on?
That, I would say, is what strength really is. When you keep going, no matter what. When you... don't step off the ledge, no matter how much easier it would be to fall.
where did this GO in my inbox man
[it's true. she never gives up, at least not completely.]
which, depends on who you are... is a blessing or a curse.
it hid under a blanket
[ it is more than that, of course... but it is a part of it. ]
Yes, I suppose you have a point.
it said enough angsty threads
anyway, just let me know if I can help fund whatever nerd project you need. like I said, I got way too much money that's just sitting around.
🎀